I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
