And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We have started to decorate penises.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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