You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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