WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Alive.
So much puke
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize