I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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