hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
