If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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