Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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