Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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