I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
