you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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