who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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