im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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