do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
