gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just forgot I was standing up.
When are your genitals available?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize