the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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