I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
