Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
