She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i believe in u and ur pee
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize