you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
