I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize