just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
