At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
