Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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