She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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