i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The air was thick with penises
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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