i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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