Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
