I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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