i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
