I think I died a long time ago.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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