i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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