wat bout pragnant strippers??
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
