She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
