I puked a lego.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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