Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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