In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize