The maid of honor just puked.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
