Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We left the knife in your bed.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
