I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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