I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
