Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
