Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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