Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.

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(206): View more from Washington

I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!

(253): View more from Washington

Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.

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(845): View more from New York

Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap

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(440): View more from Ohio

Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.

(440): View more from Ohio

The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.

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