Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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