First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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