fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
