I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
