2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
