i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize