fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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