I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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