how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
