oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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