3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
