What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
