Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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