Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
