Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
