I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
