she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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