thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
